Mike Mueller, Social Media.ist

Buying an short sale for either an investment property or a residence can try the patience of all parties involved.   We know that here in the Bay Area we are presented with plenty of opportunities.  How do you buy a Short Sale? 

Here's a quick run down of a typical purchase.

Step 1:  Assemble your team.  Don't go it alone. Your Agent, Loan Officer, Appraiser, Home Inspector, Escrow Officer.   Use a real estate agent that knows how to manage a short sale purchase.  Don't use your cousin's husband who just got their license.  This is not the place for nepotism.  Use only true professionals.   Your team has to work very well together, very well.  One of my favorite quotes is from fellow blogger, Brian Brady, "'If you thought dealing with a professional was expensive, wait until you find out how much dealing with an amateur costs!"  If you need help getting the right team together start with just one, either a Loan Officer or Real Estate Agent.  Ask them who they recommend.  They'll be better at providing the missing professionals.

Step 2:  Have all your ducks in a row.  Pre-approved, Pre-qualified, ready to go!  The same goes for your Mortgage Professional.  Additionally, know the property type you are looking for, the price range, the expected rental income for that area, will the proposed property cash flow?  Is the property in Notice of Default?  When is the Trustee Sale?  Will the Lender stop the proceedings?  Have you checked for liens against the property?  Do your homework now. 

 Step 3:  Make the offer.  In a short sale there are two things that are important.  The purchase price and the strength of your position.  For the Lender to accept the offer they'll want the highest dollar amount they can get, but they also are concerned with a couple of other items.  How fast can you close?  How strong is your approval?  What is the Loan to Value?  What do you have in contingencies?  All of these factor into the offer being accepted or declined. 

Step 4.  Take a deep breath and wait.  then wait some more, and some more.   The loss mitigation and short sale departments of Lenders are swamped as can be expected.  Many short sale transactions fall out because the lender took too long to accept.  When they finally did the buyer was long gone.  In the meantime you might want to keep your eye on other properties or make backup offers on your second and third choices.   Better yet, take your Team to lunch!

Need help?  Just ask the right people.  

Foreclosure Investing Blog 

When the search results came back they saw that I was the second organic listing on the page and they clicked on my blog site.

That took them to this page: The Truth About Lending Tree

From there they clicked around the site, read more than 20 pages, and spent 1 hour and 19 minutes getting to know me better.  I use a couple of tracking tools that tell me where a visitor comes from.  (No, I cannot harvest your email address or see who you are).

I'm sure that they came away with a better understanding of who I am and what I stand for.  I'm also confident they now know that LendingTree is a lead generating website.  Their primary business is NOT to get the best loan to the people.  "When Banks compete you win!" is only an advertising slogan.  LendingTree doesn't care if you get the best rate or the best loan.  They care about one thing.  Selling your name to Brokers and Lenders - period.  They learned about a lawsuit against LendingTree alleging inappropriate dealings.  They learned that LendingTree had also owned it's own mortgage company.  My guess is that they learned more than they asked for.

They could have also asked about Bankrate as well.  Bankrate has it's own lawsuit going on, not by consumers but by advertisers..  Bankrate exists for one reason and surprise!  It's NOT to give the consumer the best interest rates for a myriad of products.  Bankrate sells advertising space on their site.  Those rates they list are old, and highly inaccurate.  they are put there by companies who pay to have them there.

They did ask about E-Loan.  I'll bet they came away with the idea that E-Loan is the Mcdonalds of lenders.  I know people at E-Loan.  The corporate office is just miles away in nearby Dublin.  They are order takers.  They do no analytical analysis.  They take the loan app and move on to the next caller.  While I am sure there are people in E-Loan that know a debt ratio from a loan to value ratio, they probably won't touch your loan.  E-Loan exists for one thing.  To skim the cream of the crop loans, hire the lowest common denominator to work those loans, and move on to the next.  

They didn't ask about DiTech.  If they had, they would have found out that DiTech and E-Loan work on the same business platform.

LendingTree, E-Loan, DiTech or Bankrate.  At the end of the day, I have no idea what will bring someone to read my words.  Sometimes they'll leave a comment, sometimes they won't.  Will they become a new client?  I certainly hope so.  One thing is for certain, they'll come away with a better understanding of what I do, how I do it, and why I do it.  They'll be better informed and perhaps wiser in the ways of mortgage.  In the end, I will have made the world a better place.   I like that.

Tony Gallegos had also received quite a few of these emails.  Instead of deleting them and moving on like I did, he took the time and deciphered each paragraph and offered intelligent logical counterpoints.   I reprinted his rebuttal in

"... know that I am here, backed by Countrywide"

The Propaganda Styled Posters were my idea. 

It appears the Countrywide Corporate P.R. Machine wasn't done.  They've moved on to "Operation Branch Manager".  Diana Olick of CNBC reported that a Branch Manager on the east coast had given a similar sounding presentation to a real estate office. 

(Is this proof that Agents don't read their emails?)

I just checked with an internal source I have at CW and indeed it's true.  Managers have been told to go out and deliver the same exact message in person to real estate offices in their area!

So I offer my soul to the Countrywide HR staff.  Hire me. 

I'll drink the corporate Kool-aid.  I'll spout back exactly what your corporate memos tell me to say.  I'll not ingest, digest or inhale.  I won't think.  I won't question.  I won't doubt.  My lips will move and nobody will be able to see you pulling the strings.

In return all I want is full salary, full benefits, oh and a matching self directed 401,k plan.

I can be reached at (925) 288-9977 Ext. 104

References available upon request.

Yesterday, in the course of accepting a loan application for a new client and their possible refinance I ran into something I had never personally seen before.

In a phone conversation setting up an initial consultation appointment I had started to discus with this new client the various loan options he might have when refinancing.  It quickly became very apparent to me how little he knew.   

This client had purchased a house 2 years ago.  It was their first house and they had saved up enough money for a decent down payment.  They had good incomes, great credit, they were ready.  They found a nice 3 Bedroom / 2 Bath in nearby Fremont, CA.  For this transaction they were lucky enough to use just one person, a friendly real estate agent who also could help them with their mortgage.  That was 2 years ago.  Now he won't return their calls.  I had the client bring in all their original paperwork, I made some calls, and did some digging.

To make a long story short, this "real estate professional" was a real pro.

1. He listed the house (3% Commission).
2. He represented my client in the purchase of this same house (3%).
3. He represented the sellers of this house in the purchase of their new house (3%)

I checked on his license and he is a Broker.  There are some issues that need to be covered when an agent "doubles" on a transaction.  I stopped there because of what I found next.

This Broker also was the loan officer.  In talking to the clients they have indicated they want to live in this home for the rest of their lives.  I can only imagine they had that same feeling a couple of years ago and related this to their loan officer / real estate agent.

In reviewing the HUD-1, I could see clearly what he had done.  He sold them a Payment Option ARM.  He didn't just sell them, he took as full advantage of them.

1. He charged 2 points origination on a 95% LTV POA.
2. He set them up with a 3 year HARD Prepayment Penalty.
3. He received 3 points in Yield Spread Premium for that Prepay.

In layman's terms he screwed them.  On this one transaction alone he netted $30,000 from the sale of the property.  Then instead of securing a loan that fit their needs, he gobbled up as much as he could of their down payment, applying it to charging them points and giving them a loan that paid him the highest YSP possible.  His net for the loan?  $23,750.  Bringing his payday up to a cool $53,750.

I have no problem with professionals earning what they do.  I do have a problem with this one in that everything he did was to benefit ONLY himself.  If he had done the proper loan for these people they would have gone in with a hefty down, they would have a 30 year fixed (which is what they thought they were getting), and they wouldn't be upside down in a transaction right now, unable to refinance out of one of the worst situations I have ever seen.

On behalf of my chosen profession,

I apologize.

That's how the email ends. The exact same email I have received over and over again, seemingly written by individual loan officers. In truth, it's a propaganda piece sent out by the corporate office straight to the front lines. The Loan Officers. They are supposed to cut and paste the body of words and distribute them to anyone and everyone.

Somehow, someone thinks that this email will make everything all right. Blind faith coupled with propaganda has never made anything all right.

I have seen plenty of these emails in my inbox. I have glazed past them knowing the person sending them didn't write them. I recognize them for what they are and haven't thought they were worth wasting any time on.

I like Countrywide. As a wholesale lender I never had much of a problem with them. I wish them the best of luck. I certainly don't want them to fail.

I also like Nima. He's a well respected prolific blogger and Countrywide Loan Officer in Norwalk, CT. When Nima posted the same exact email that so many others have sent, (Countrywide Home Loans: The Real Story), I somehow felt a little let down.

As soon as the post hit the web, Nima received a wave of comment support. Maybe these supporters missed the onslaught of email spam from so many other CW Loan Officers? Oh, to be so lucky. But still, comment after comment of good wishes gets a little boring.

Then on Comment Number 25, Tony Gallegos dropped a bomb of logic. It was more of a post all unto itself. It was not an attack on Nima but more a logical deciphering, point by point, of the pseudo email "fireside chat". Wow! I decided to include it in it's entirety below for a number of reasons.

1. It's not an attack of Nima. Tony even states that right at the top.
2. Tony is a highly educated mortgage professional. He is speaking not from emotion but cool rational thought.
3. The points made are so well thought out, they should be seen by as many people as possible.
4. Being buried in the comment section of a single post is unworthy of this body of text.
5. Somehow the comment stream has morphed into a verbal fight between those that bash CW and those that support it. The entire thread may be deleted at anytime.

So this post is meant to salvage Tony's Comment and bring light to his rational argument. Read the email, read the comments, read Brian Brady's post. Don't get caught in the blame game. Don't get caught up in the emotion. But do read and understand Tony's comment.

Nima - Please don't take this as an attack on you, it is not. You are very highly regarded on this platform and one of your vendors (Peter), plus referral partners obviously hold you in high esteem. Yet you are taking CFC's public statements as gospel as your post is verbatim to the statement Angelo released to all Countrywide employees and the public. I have seen copies of very similar statements emailed out by AHM, HomeBanc and Charter this year (even within days of shutting down.

Yes, I agree the media can sensationalize a story and to a certain extent this has happened with CFC. I truly don't believe the mortgage business is imploding. We are still making good loans today and will in the future. Did the industry go too far with a certain segment of the industry... yes it did. Is the media making too much of what is happening... I think so.

That said, it is foolhardy not to admit CFC is having major problems. Back in early April, Brian Brady told me he had analyzed the CFC financial's and predicted they were going to be experiencing major problems over the next 12 months. He also predicted the Fed stepping in and increasing liquidity to mitigate CFC's cash crunch and brokering the sale of CFC to a financially stable banker/lender.

Whatever happens, CFC, will either be a much smaller company 12 months from now or more than likely acquired.

In the mean time, I highly suggest Realtors and brokers follow the advice given by Brian Brady in his recently featured post.

I do want to briefly touch on each of the points Mozilo made in your post above.

"We have supplemented our existing liquidity options by infusing an additional $11.5 billion in to our operation through a syndicate of 40 of the world's largest banks. More than 70 percent of this facility has an existing term of greater than four years."

Why would a company need to suddenly borrow $11.5 billion in high cost loans to supplement their operation if they were on solid financial footing? They are borrowing high cost money to survive from many of the very lenders/banks they have competed against for years. Over $3 billion of the $11.5 is due in less than 12 months. The $2 billion pool they could not sell recently almost put them under. What will happen when the $3 billion comes due and payable in less than 12 months and their LOC's are tapped? Additionally the borrowing costs of the $11.5 billion exceed the projected ROI Countrywide will receive on the money. Additionally, with the $3 billion that will be due in 12 months or less, plus the $2 billion pool of unsold sub-prime loans, they will have over $5 billion plus interest coming due within the next year. With Moody's Investors Service downgrading Countrywide's senior debt rating to "Baa3" from "A3," their cost of borrowing commercially is substantially higher. While the open discount window and the extension of federal loans from 1-30 days will alleviate some pressure on CFC, the amount they can borrow from the DOT is limited by their asset base. Bottom line, according to most analyst, CFC has almost fully tapped their LOC's.

"We announced our strategy to fund a significant portion of loans through Countrywide Bank, which has approximately $100 billion in assets. Today, we fund approximately 70 percent of our loans through Countrywide Bank, and expect that nearly all of our loan volume will be funded through the bank by the end of September."

While Countrywide Bank has $100 billion in assets, that doesn't necessarily mean the assets are liquid (or valued correctly). How much of their assets are in MBS pools very similar to the recent $2 billion sub-prime pool they chose not to sell at a major discount. If Countrywide Bank had the financial strength being inferred by Angelo, why did Countrywide need to "syndicate" the $11.5 billion from other banks? Additionally. Countrywide Bank recently changed its Charter from a National Bank because it could not meet the reserve requirements mandated of Federally chartered banks. Thus they are in all practicality an S & L of days gone by. In a nutshell, even Countrywide bank is having liquidity problems. Countrywide Bank is no B of A, Chase, Wachovia, Wells nor even a Suntrust or Wamu.

"We expect that approximately 90 percent of the loans we originate will be eligible for funding through Countrywide Bank or the Government Sponsored Entities (Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac)."

Okay, that means Countrywide is effectively reducing their volume by approximately 50%. Additionally, the remaining 50% has historically been their least profitable product. The only profitable prime product left is govie loans. Do you think you are going to fund enough govie business to continue making a profit, much less service the additional debt just incurred, plus come up with another $5 billion? Countrywide Bank had trouble even meeting the reserve requirements of a federally chartered bank...where's the beef?

Additionally, most of CFC's volume comes through its wholesale and correspondent channel. With plans to curtail and some predict shut down (???), that would leave only the retail channel. Subsequently, CFC has never been the number one Retail lender in the country during a calendar year. On top of that. the speciality product that accounted for 50% of CFC volume has been curtailed or eliminated by the marketplace...that leaves just fannie, freddie and govies.

What will make Countrywide special and differentiate them from the crowd if all they can do is vanilla product?

"Just this week, we increased our product options for fully documented Jumbo loans."

There is NO market for JUMBO paper. There are no pricing screens to hypothecate. More importantly, CFC can not survive without a secondary market. With a cash strapped mortgage company and bank...where is the sustainability of a marketable Jumbo product? Again, what will make Countrywide different and how will they survive.

Brian has crunched numbers, the CFC assets only support a stock price of $5 to $7 a share...the financial fundamentals are not there for Countrywide. 99.99% of the AR members take no joy in what is happening to the families that will be impacted by CFC woes. Yes, Countrywide families will be touched if CW goes into BK. If that happens, a good majority of the workforce will be absorbed by the remaining players. Yet, there will still be families negatively affected. Brian spoke of the Stockdale Paradox.

"You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end - which you can never afford to lose - with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be."

Don't be one of the blind optimists Admiral Stockdale admonishes. It is commendable the loyalty you exhibit towards CW, however you have your family to think of first and foremost...Mozilo I'm sure has taken care of his. Look at the situation objectively. You will thrive at any organization lucky enough to have you on their team.

You are a mortgage man and mortgage people if anything are very adapt at adapting (is that a double negative?). Remember it is you and not CW that makes you "The Mortgage Man."

Even if CFC flounders (only time will tell), the remaining strong players will pick-up the slack.

Again Nima...you will be fine. I wish you and the many families at CFC only the best.

Bruce Springsteen once said, "Blind faith in our Leaders will get you killed". While he was referring to our political leaders during times of war I can't help but think the same thought applies to the corporate world. Loyalty is an admirable trait rarely found in employees. Nima. I'd be proud to have you as one of my employees. Blind faith is not.

I agree. Nima, you will be fine. And I certainly hope CW comes out fine. They may be battered and bruised but as they say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" right?

It just occurred to me as I was doing a very normal thing, that it might not actually be "normal".

I have a client that was referred to me by an Agent.

We met last week.  I took the loan application and promptly went to an Automated Underwriting Engine.  This is a lenders computer program that will determine if a loan is approved or declined.  After running 15 different scenarios, calling and discussing the loan with various lenders, I found what I thought was the best loan program for this clients situation.  I submitted and received an "Accept".  In lay terms that's an Approval.  I could have stopped there, issued a Pre-Approval Letter and moved on to the next project.

Computer Underwriting vs. Human Underwriting

There's a tech term "Garbage In - Garbage Out", which means if I put incorrect information into a program, I'll get a faulty answer.  The same goes with AU decisions.  Any Monkey could get a scenario to approve initially.  But that loan may be declined when a real human looks at it for final approval.

I've been doing this for a while (14 yrs) and I know how to compute income, reserves, and other pertinent factors that go into a loan approval.  In today's rapidly changing market, the guidelines that lenders fund loans by is changing daily.  I trust myself, I don't trust a computer program.  So I took an extra couple of days and had the loan file looked at by a human underwriter.  They concurred with me just now and issued a Conditional Loan Approval.

Facing Facts, the Truth and the complete picture

As soon as the approval cleared the fax machine I called and talked to the Agent and left a message for the Buyer.  I also completed a lengthy email to both detailing exactly how the approval was structured, what conditions we have prior to docs, what conditions prior to funding, and any and all possible bumps in the road I foresee.  I included the bad news as well as the good news.

This took an extra half hour of my time.  Yes, I could have just told them that we were Pre-Approved and left it at that.  The road that many loan officers take is called the path of least resistance.  I could have left out some of the simple conditions.  I could have withheld certain questions the underwriter had with the file.  In classic cars we have a saying, "That's a 20 foot paint job".  That means the car has great looking paint if you are far away, but get closer and you see a different story.    While the "Half Truth" may look pretty as the car passes you on the road, the full truth is what your parking in your own garage.  The "Full Truth" is what I pass along to the people who trust me.  The "Half Truth" is what a loan officer passes off to "make the sale".  That's not how I've ever done it. 

Volatility in the marketplace

Strange as it sounds, a Pre-Approval means less today than it did a month ago.  Why?  Due to  the Volatility in the marketplace that Pre-Approval is not guaranteed to hold.  I'll relax and exhale only when I see the funds have wired to Title.  Until then - anything can happen.   AHM left the building with what $450,000,000 in loans ready to be funded?  And they were a top ten Alt-A lender!   News abounds about the possible Countrywide doom.  They' re #1.  That means nobody is safe.

BTW: If anyone tells you different, run away!  They are either Liars or Knuckleheads and don't know any better.   

Vice Admiral James Bond Stockdale

This isn't a case of pessimism, certainly not optimism, and I'm not so sure it's realism.  But it's something I do daily and I think I may be "Abnormal".  Is it Stockdale-ism?

Said the Admiral, "You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end – which you can never afford to lose – with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be." 

There's a great explanation of The Stockdale Paradox and how it pertains to the mortgage world right now at the Mortgage Cicerone.

In this challenging time, I wholeheartedly embrace the idea of being a "Stockdale".  Shouldn't you?

I do a lot of daily reading. Yesterday I was reading the Redfin Blog. In it they referenced an article that appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle last Thursday.

Mortgage crunch hits Bay Area hard because of jumbo loans

The article covered most of the basics, got most of the info correct, and overall was a well written article. Good job, Carolyn Said and Kelly Zito!

But then I got down to the bottom...

Do you know that sound Sitcoms use? The old needle on the phonograph record being dragged sideways? That's what I heard inside my head. Why?

Bankrate.

What you can do

With the mortgage situation changing day by day, it's hard to say what's best for consumers. One thing all experts agree on: If you don't have to be in the market right now, it might be best to wait this crisis out. If that's not an option for you, there are still places to get advice. For instance:

-- Bankrate.com: A free, online source of personal finance information that includes an entire section on mortgages, including local rate comparisons.

-- FDIC: The Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. provides comprehensive consumer advice on mortgages and home lending. Check its "Looking for the Best Mortgage" page for starters. You can find it at links.sfgate.com/ZOL.

-- The Federal Reserve: The Fed offers a great consumer overview of lending issues, particularly focusing on settlement charges. Check it at links.sfgate.com/ZOM.

-- The FTC: The Federal Trade Commission also offers an advice site for consumers navigating the mortgage market. Here's a shortcut to the site: links.sfgate.com/ZON.

Remember Sesame Street's "Three of these things belong together..."?

Three of these things belong together, one of these things just doesn't belong. three of these things are government agencies, one of these things is a capitalistic business who's primary function is generating income by selling leads, advertisements and banner ads. They also are knee deep in a Bait and Switch Lawsuit brought on by a former Advertiser / Lender dating back to 2002.

Bankrate is much like LendingTree. Both disguise themselves as friends of consumer. LendingTree is a lead generation business (who also was caught in a lawsuit of their own. See: The Truth About Lending Tree). Both are in the business to generate income. Both advertise massively and tout that they are there for the consumer.

There is nothing "Americanly" wrong with the business model. They are in the business of making money and do so by attracting clients in what some might say is a deceptive manner - the truth is, that's advertising!

My issue is with the Chron article including and referencing Bankrate as a real resource. I'd have the same problem if they had said, "Go to Mike - He's the Man!" Yes, I am. But I too am a capitalistic business who's primary function is generating income, albeit with a slightly different advertising pitch.

Integrity.

"...and it was the best one I had written all month!"

Do you ever feel like that?  Like your highly informative post just didn't catch the attention it should have? 

You are not alone.  We all have posts like that.

• I had one recently You Only THINK You Were Approved that garnered only 10 comments (3 of them from me)
• Jeff Belonger wrote a wonderful post that for whatever reason just didn't get the readers and comments it deserved.  The Explanation of Mortgages : From the beginning of time......
• Tony Gallegos wrote a great series of articles starting with Hunting For Your New Home - Part 1 and going to Buying Your Home - Conclusion (Part 10)
• Michael Haltman authored a fine series of Commercial Finance posts starting with Understanding the commercial mortgage process: An Overview
• Meg Burns had a very informative post that went with absolutely 0 comments!  Apples to Apples, Blog to Blog - I read it, I then had an hour long phone conversation with her and then got back into my daily busy-ness and haven't gotten back to comment.  Meg, I'm sorry I'll get there I promise.

Rosemary Brooks, Mark Blasi, Sally, Jeff Dowler, Lisa Hill, Sarah Eubanks, Angie Vandenbergh, Mariana Wagner, Ardell, Jason Sardi, Ed Rybczynski, Laurie Mindnich, Nick, George Souto, Andy Kaufman, Drew Meyers, Brad Carroll, Lenn Harley, Sarah Cooper, Tracey Thomas, Stephanie, Tony Marriott, John Occhi, Linda Davis, Maureen Henry (and so many more).  You know the post I'm talking about.

Newbies - did you pour your heart and soul into a post only to have it go unnoticed?  Have you sunken back into lurk mode?  Get that post noticed. This is your big chance! 

Crying about it isn't going to help.  This isn't about not being Featured.  It's about viewers and comments - pure and simple.

But here's your chance, or better named...

List the link and title to the post you think went unnoticed in the comments below.

That's right go ahead a put a link to it.  It's ok.

If you really want you can even put a blurb about why you think we should read this.  I promise you'll have more comments, more views, and more exposure - and that's what it's all about right? 

Be Heard!

No really, here's the page: http://www.success.com/newsletters/11499

Mitigate is a verb that means "to lessen a bad effect".  We hear this word used most often in reference to a lender's Loss Mitigation Department. You can easily guess what they do.  They are there to lessen the bad effect of foreclosure. 

That is a perfect Segway () into mentioning The Foreclosure Report... and in particular the section detailing many Loss Mitigation Departments.

Here's where I could use your help.

I've listed as many departments as I could find. If you know of a particular lender who is not represented and you know the contact information of their LMD - please let me know. 

At first I was just going to let this slide off into obscurity.  I can't.

On Friday, I watched Jim Cramer of CNBC have his own personal on camera meltdown.  I'm not a big fan of Cramer, but I certainly can feel his pain.

Cramer was upset by the Fed's not paying attention to what is actually happening in the market.  His Pain comes directly from his contacts in the hedge fund business.  The fact that "good people" were losing their jobs because of the Fed's position.  His Pain was that two of the Feds, Ben and Bill, were not paying attention.  They just were not getting it.

I mentioned yesterday that the market was operating in uncharted territory right now.  The 10 Year Bond Yield and the mortgage rates that have been mirroring the rise and fall of that bond yield have gone their separate ways. 

My metaphor of choice was flying a jet through a cloud, no visibility, with no radar.  Flying Blind.

I talked to a few Agents today.  They've watched the same news I have, they've seen the same articles, some many even read that post.  Yet as I was discussing current events with them, discussing the current Mortgage Meltdown,  it became crystal clear they were just not getting the gravity of the situation.  They just were not getting it.

"Mike, does this mean you can't get my self employed client approved for a 80/20 first time home buyer on a Non Owner Occupied duplex with his 600 credit score?"

Let's put it this way...

"Ladies and gentlemen, This is the Navigation Officer.  I regret to inform you that it appears both the Captain and Co-Pilot have used their emergency parachutes and have left the plane.  We'll pretend nothing has happened and continue flying on autopilot.  Have a Nice Day and thank you for flying Mortgage Airlines!"

"So, how soon can we get them pre-approved and ready to make an offer?" 

That right there is My Pain.

Jim, I feel for you.

Here is Jim's Meltdown.